sioux city sue

Looking at my living room bookshelf the other day I paid close attention to the small vial of ashes and the photograph of my friend Sue.

1991: In a typical Sue moment, she had us each take a picture of the other in front of an elevated freeway exit. We had spent the day wandering East LA as her windshield was getting replaced, and we talked and talked. And typical Sue, she dared my to try my then broken Spanish at a taco truck. Then I had to eat whatever I had ordered (brains). I was smitten once again.

We had met sometime in the late '80's, both seeing others (her odd boyfriend had only referred to her as 'my girlfriend'), but we hit it off as friends. She loved to dive in to things, and had a laugh that would spread. Deep and husky. It always got me.

We traded mix tapes every so often for the next few years, and her favorite was the "sioux city sue" of old country tunes that I had made just for her. Mine from her was the hopelessly depressing British industrial gloom mix called "Happiness mit der Smiths". She loved the title track.

After a nasty break-up and a failed coffee house, I moved to San Francisco, and Sue came to visit a couple of times. I found myself eagerly anticipating her weekend trips. One trip we slept in the old bath house ruins at the cliffs: freezing, freezing, freezing.

One evening, we met at a giant underground tiki/shipwreck bar built around an old pool in the basement of a famous hotel. She had such a grin the whole evening, and as always it was infectious. She made me happy.

That next morning, I decided that I'd had enough of the San Francisco treat, and that perhaps back down home Sue would be there for me (I am forever chasing a woman somewhere).

Well, I moved, but things didn't quite work out with Sue as a partner. We had that one very great day together in East LA shortly after my move (she was the one who first showed me the "Great Stone Seal" and the Charles St Yves mariachi hall), but like a fool I never did tell her that she was my reason for moving back (plus her then boyfriend wouldn't have approved).

We drifted, but remained friendly. Awash happy to see each other, just not much chance to "hang out". She was one of those people that showed me how to live life well. And I loved her for that.

Every time we saw each other she would brag about my DJing/mix tapes to anyone who would listen. It was nice to be embarrassed by her.

Eventually, I got married and had a daughter, and got to do the whole great dad thing. Sue met a great guy and got to have a great writing, living, being a creative soul. She got sick and after fighting off a brain tumor, moved out to the desert.

She had a wonderful set of friends that I've only recently met, plus our old mutual friends who didn't realize that I had no idea what had happened.

About a year ago, she had a relapse and quickly passed.

I found out the same day as a planned wake, and it was all very quick. I've lost 4 of my closest friends over the years, and Sue had always been very supportive of my grief,so it was an odd and somewhat heartbroken mood I was in(what with my recent separation) my mind was on overload.

Sue gone? Yes. And her friends got together and quietly chatted about our friend. Somebody remembered the photo of me in front of the freeway. Her boyfriend told me how often she brought me up.

During the wake, her oldest friend was preparing vials of Sue's ashes to pass out to friends, and I was honored to be a recipient. The friend noticed that some tiny bone fragments had remained in the ashes ("Sue strong like Hulk" somebody muttered) so we passed the fragments from hand to hand.

Well, Sue being Sue, the fragments left a bit of themselves behind in each hand, so there I was, alone in the hallway with a bit of Sue that I couldn't quite figure out what to do with.

Somehow, giving them back just seemed wrong. As did throwing them away.

So I licked my hands. Took Sue in, crying. I felt better but told no one about it at the wake. Just a little joke between Sioux City Sue and me.

***********************************************

"Sioux City Sue, Sioux City Sue,
Your hair is red, your eyes are blue
I'd swap my horse and dog for you, oh
Sioux City Sue, Sioux City Sue
There ain't no gal as true as my sweet Sioux City Sue.

I drove a herd of cattle out
From old Nebraska way
That's how I come to be in the state of I-o-way.
I met a gal and asked her how
She said "Indeed I do"
I asked her what her name was and she said
"Sioux City Sue"

Sioux City Sue, Sioux City Sue,
Your hair is red, your eyes are blue
I'd swap my horse and dog for you, oh
Sioux City Sue, Sioux City Sue
There ain't no gal as true as my sweet Sioux City Sue."