to

we are here all of us
to be loved,
to love,
to reach out a hand,
to take that hand,
to know someone hears us,
to have someone understand us,
to cry,
to laugh,
to observe,
to remember,
to forget,
to share a smile,
to share a look,
to stumble,
to be forgiven,
to be surprised,
to make noise,
to be quiet,
to gasp.

sad hulk theme

flipping channels on the remote is the bugaboo of insomniacs everywhere, but from time to time the general sleep deprived hallucinatory state leads to fun. what memories you can trigger.

in the 'old days' of television (for me the '70's), sitcoms and dramas often had very memorable themes, and unfortunately i can hum a lot of them for you...they also often had variations on the themes for specific moments, such as the 'disco-fied' starsky and hutch bit for when the detectives went into a disco or bar. one assumes that the musical budgets from the networks only allowed for a few original pieces, so re-imagining the main track as a 'dance number' helped the shows to limit original material, keeping the parent network happy.

i'm sure you can probably remember more such examples of this bit of cultural flotsam, but of particular interest to me are the 'sad' theme variations, always used to underscore the more melancholy or embarrassing moments in a given episode.

fred flintstone gets wilma miffed? cue slower, more orchestral 'meet the fintstones' theme.

gilligan ruined yet another rescue? hear the slowed down wordless theme.

even the monkees had a 'sad monkees theme' for when peter tork got sad.

again, many shows did these odd interludes, but by far my favorite was the music used to accompany dr. david 'bruce' banner at the end of each episode as he and his inner hulk were forced to go back on the road thumbing for a ride to the next episode (and somehow magically re-acquiring the duffel bag left behind during the green rampage).

this bit was a verrrrry slow version of the main theme done solely on tinkling piano in various minor keys that for kid me signaled the end of the episode and time for bed. dr. banner and i always looked so sad then.

well, that little maudlin tune often comes up (as part of a greater constant tv fueled internal cursed soundtrack) in my head whenever i leave somewhere i don't want to go from, or when i see a hitchhiker on the road, duffel bag draped on shoulder.

i'm glad the general populace can't hear my mental workings when i go away.

i feel a bit of dr. banner's pain.

(cue soft tinkly sad hulk theme).

just a minute, turkey

oh, the humanity...off to the usual rocky start (someone re-patched le studio, and me in the midst of training some new killers)

residents-festival of death
sons of the pioneers-cool water
april march-le temps de l'amour
cabaret voltaire-beathe deep
the gist-love at first site
hank snow-i've been everywhere
shriekback-my spine is the baseline
francoise hardy-just call and i'll be there
elvis presley-what'd i say?
duet emmo-first person
edmundo ros-chocolate whiskey and vanilla gin
elvis costello-wednesday week
magazine-thank you (falettinme be mice elf agin)
asha bhosle & chorus-nacho gao maje udao
mo-dettes-masochistic opposite
len ryder & muriel tilton-girl in waikiki
scritti politti-asylums in jerusalem
minutemen-i felt like a gringo
rod mckuen-loneliness in crowds
gang of four-damaged goods
michel polnareff-ne me marchez pas sur les pieds
captain beefheart-tropical hot dog night
david bowie & bing crosby-little drummer boy
suburban lawns-janitor
the louvin brothers-the great atomic power
los plugz-la bamba
los fabulosos quatro-la raya
human hands-trains vs planes
terry stafford-suspicion
residents-constantinople
ryoko moriyama-black is the color of my true love's hair
joy division-love will tear us apart (alt take)
tom jones-sixteen tons
boyd rice & daniel miller-cleanliness & order
the fun boy three w/ bananarama-it aint what you do

whew!

one false start

the vinyl only show starts off all crazy, but mavis and her pal greta are here, so i cant curse much...

phil manzanera-bogota
eno & snatch-r.a.f.
omd-motion and heart
dean martin-i'm so lonesome i could cry
gang of four-love like anthrax
captain sensible-happy talk
rod mckuen-open the windows and see all the clowns
pixies-wave of mutilation (uk surf)
lee hazlewood-these boots are made for walkin'
eno & byrne-very, very hungry
edmundo ros-the queen of tonga
the hesitations-cowboy song
the breeders-happiness is a warm gun
the stranglers-golden brown
lalo schifrin-wheat germ landscapes
pere ubu-use of dog
yma sumac-remember

and since i have two nine year olds, a wee break from the old school to:
gorrilaz-5/4
los beatles-drive my car

then, the past...

tom waits-innocent when you dream (78)
the residents-beyond the valley of a day in the life
sammy davis jr.-in the ghetto
marc riley with the creepers-blow
siouxsie y los banshees-supernatural thing
parliament-lil ol country boy
adam & the ants-deutscher girls
robert fripp-under heavy manners
reg wilson-888
holger czukay, jah wobble, jaki liebzeit-how much are they?
tom jones-ring of fire
pink floyd-bike

hippies

i guess everything does come around to being 'retro'...

i will never be rid of hippies as long as i live.

and now with all this 'polyamorous' crap (clap?) floating around, those old bitter and or naive bay area types that believe that a hug cures all must just be dancing around in their mental flower dresses.

think janis joplin.

forget that most of these polyamorous types are merely sad 'modern primitives' that wouldn't know love if it poked their eyes and have somehow passed their own personal jerry stahl days of abuse, addiction and idiot punk rock to go weeping into their forties terrified of commitment and normal human needs, covering it instead with body mods and vapid three ways.

i don't care about your motorcycle or you days as a dot-com wunderkind/nerd.

the old hippies are mostly tightfisted small business owners that hide behind 'knowing' or 'feelings', or worse, they are dennis hopper.

the aging punks without a true mate or a child or some sort of fulfilling outlet will just keep going out, drinking, doing whatever aerosol is hip or handy, repeating the 'good old days' and in a few years will be some awful parodies of themselves, only now looking worse in a corset.

think courtney love.

yeesh.

i cherish my memories, my relationships, my family and even my broken bits. i even still adore my old music and surviving friends.

at 42, i would feel pretty silly in a mosh pit or tripping in some club.

i thank my lucky stars for mavis and beth.

and even though a hug is a good thing, you wont catch me hoping for an 'open relationship'.

guess that makes my retro even older.

ps: thanks for the inspiration, ysabel!

sticks and trees

walking the dog through the park, and decided to take some trails new to me, as the day was lovely.

steep downhill slope and someone has made a sculpture of many found branches and two trees. beautiful.

behind the local for hire lodge, there is now a series of terraces with old tree trunks carved into benches, chairs and thrones and steps made of the natural sandstone. some rocks with plaques (sadly graffitied) try to tell the story of a plant, in stages.

add this to the wooden art birds, the blue neon painted tree roots and the various tiny 'blair witch' type rock mounds, and one has a busy little art park.

which serves to remind me to get out more, and create.

it's raining

been feeling blue these last few days since beth went back home...

and mavis has been with her mom all week...

then beth posts the lyrics to one of my favorite songs (searched for the tune for 3 years after a pal made a mix tape from other tapes)...and all is better...

it's raining, by irma thomas:

Drip drop
Drip drop
Drip drop
Drip drop

It's raining so hard
Looks like it's gonna rain all night
And this is the time
I'd love to be holding you tight
But I guess I'll have to accept
The fact that you're not here
I wish the rain would hurry up
And end, my dear

It's raining so hard
It's really coming down
Sittin' by my window
Watching the rain fall to the ground
This is the time
I'd love to be holding you tight
But I guess I'll just go crazy tonight

It's raining so hard
It brings back memories
Of the time
That you were here with me
Counting every drop
About to lose my top
I wish the rain would hurry up and stop

I've got the blues so bad
I can hardly catch my breath
The harder it rains
The worse it gets
This is the time
I'd love to be holding you tight
But I guess I'll just go crazy tonight

Drip drop
Drip drop
Drip drop..