Wednesday, June 14, 2006

you, me and ied

"By definition, intermittent explosive disorder involves multiple outbursts that are way out of proportion to the situation. These angry outbursts often include threats or aggressive actions and property damage. The disorder typically first appears in adolescence; in the study, the average age of onset was 14. "

well, well, well. in my day this was called 'having a temper', or 'being an asshole'...

if i were more of a comedian, this would make an excellent basis for a whole monologue, but alas, i am but a poor union office worker and dad that can ill afford to go to some sort of therapist to have himself diagnosed with this wonderful new malady.

can you imagine the range of excuses that can be swept away with the simple declaration of 'i have IED and am not in control of myself. sorry 'bout that broken arm/fender/hole punched in the wall, but i've been suffering with this since high school. can you imagine, i used to be called a bully? oh, the heartache!"

i mean, this will probably soon become another ADD to have more kids on drugs at school, or more caring sensitive commercials from pfizer aired during world news tonight showing montages of 'angry' people finding the 'cure' and then cycling or petting their dogs or sitting on the beachfront porches with a loved one's head on their shoulders...

'warning: possible side effects of explosisine may include dry mouth, vomiting, muscle spasms and in a few cases, death due to built up rage inhibitions and burst blood vessels in the neck...should not be taken if driving is intended, or if your spouse has a history of being a nag. should not be used by adherents of klingon philosophies or anyone who has any chance of being around children, or fellow human beings...'

i mean, come on...do jerks prone to outbursts really need backing? do wife beaters need yet another prop or excuse? does little suzy get her pony now? do folks in berkeley need another reason to hug someone?

then again, flying into a rage at work, or going into a clocktower with a rifle might just be that much more acceptable a way to 'vent' our emotions, since we could now justify it due to our new disorder.

mention your suffering with this lifelong problem next time your boss crosses you....


ooooh....

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