this happens

a funny thing happened after the fight.

i should bactrack. the ex and i had a series of phone message snipes (how very 21st century) that resulted in a lot of anger and hurtful things said on both sides. the way most divorced couples do. we are not immune nor any less capeable of nasty behaviors, especially after 12 years of knowing each other.

the subject matter is not important, but it did relate to how we each interpreted how we dealt with the the little one with a 'big issue'.

we each felt the other had handled it very badly. total misinterpretation of the events. but i just knew that the ex would compound the potential problem by discussing it with our girl before reason had re-set.

after the two of us just blowing it, mavis came by the next day-as she does each weekday morning-to have me take her to school. she was glum. it had happened. i was pissed. the can of worms had been opened and all my careful tip-toeing over a potentially major change had been totally wiped out.

or so i thought.

i asked her what was up, and the subject that we adults had gotten so bent out of shape over was not what was on her mind (she was "fine with that"), it was that her mother had been so upset, and that we had argued that was worrying her.

i tried to explain (clumsily) that sometimes mommies and daddies fight, but that doesn't mean that-

mavis interrupts me and tells me it's okay. she reminds me that i should expect some difficult times after a divorce. this happens, she says.

i am dumbfounded. she'll be 10 in december.

we did something right.

my anger just melts away. we are good.